♥

xx

2010-09-24T19:35:00.000+08:00

12 days

2010-09-22T20:38:00.004+08:00

It's my first blog post after a shocking one month and two days.
I'm amazed if you managed to stumble here in such a short time and read this post.
Something, a picture text, really struck me recently and I just had to reopen my blog to post it.
After all , EOYs are in a mere twelve days and I really am lagging behind my studies.
There's three people to blame (one actually) - me, myself and I.
But life's life, and there's nothing I can do about it.
All I do is procrastinate all day long.
So like me, isn't it? :>

p/s its not 12 days to christmas :x
pp/s i'm really hoping for EOYs to finally finally finally be over , xx.

11:11

2010-08-20T23:11:00.001+08:00

Forget everything I've done
Understanding? I didn't even wish for that much.
Couldn't and wouldn't - what you would do
Knowing all of that I just wished that
You would open your golden mouth a little more
Only... If wishes came through,
Under the starry starry night

11:11

2010-08-20T20:45:00.004+08:00

[edit]
Strike out everything cause I posted it while my blog was still priv and nobody cld read. Hahahahah , goodbye question . Although you're still firmly etched in my mind.
[/edit]

Add that to the list of the questions I have...
Circumstances ..

P/s I heart lit :D

point crossed

2010-07-29T20:15:00.002+08:00

Nobody's gonna read but I need to blog anyway.

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Today, I walked along the path.
Like nothing was wrong.
I didnt turn back.
I didnt frown.
I didnt speak a word.
Silent, they didn't even ask me anything.
But I still didn't speak anyway.
:\

i was only me when i was with you

2010-07-27T13:03:00.003+08:00

Holding back of tears doesn't necessarily mean everything's all right...
It has come to a point that I really don't know what I'm feeling anymore.
I walked away today, holding back my tears like there was a river inside of me...
Its just that there's no point letting them out right...?
God...
I don't know anymore.
Were you only my friend when the was nobody else beside you...?
Now that there are, you're throwing me aside?
Or maybe its just me being oversensitive, ha.
You're so different now,
I see your face but I barely recognise you...
I braced myself, and walked away.
It broke my heart so much, so much.
I was standing at the traffic light, leaning against the pole and really fighting the tears.
Anger and sorrow flooded me. At the same time, I already knew that it'd happen sooner or later. I just didn't expect it to be so soon. So soon. And so painful.
I felt so much of a mixture of emotions, I don't think I felt anything...
Its as if emotions were potatoes all mashed up together.
Except you still can call potatoes that are mashed up mashed potatoes. But what can you call this ...?
They say, open your heart and take the risk. But be aware that you may get it broken.
I did...
I died...

This post is meaningless, right?
It's not like the clock will turn back in time and the present would be like the past...
I wish it was just a dream.
All a bad dream...

lalalal

2010-07-24T08:50:00.002+08:00

N2D2 was fantabulous :D
Lazy to elaborate eh. :3
Although I slept for a awhile cause of the lack of sleep from the previous days.
Just arrived back home around 10 minutes ago, after eating macs breakfast with 头 :))
Fulllllllllll .

*And!*
I'm so happy happy happy.
Cause of ......
Oh wellz I'm not telling you.
:)

falling a thousand feet per second

2010-07-23T16:58:00.001+08:00

Just because she smiles doesn't mean she's happy. Just because her eyes don't tear doesn't mean her heart doesn't cry. And just because she comes off strong doesn't mean there's nothing wrong...

You're not okay.
I'm not okay.
But that's okay...

:(

2010-07-23T14:32:00.002+08:00

Is this supposed to hold true everytime... ?

n2d2

2010-07-23T14:20:00.005+08:00

When can I stop putting on the facade?

Happy 600th post...
N2D later.
Just hope it'll change my day.
Its been real horrible.
:(

trying not to care anymore

2010-07-23T14:14:00.003+08:00

I've tried so hard...
Really.
I've tried......
Fml.

i keep trying to make this work

2010-07-20T20:45:00.001+08:00

There's so much to hide
So much to try
Something ain't right

every aching wound will cauterize and bruise

2010-07-20T00:28:00.002+08:00

Can't sleep though there's school tomorrow...

i need some brilliant luck

2010-07-20T00:21:00.002+08:00

Its a dead lonely night. Dead lonely.

I just have one question...
How do you question questions?

bad day

2010-07-19T21:41:00.003+08:00

I had a really bad day today...
It got better later , but still .
I totally had tears in my eyes then :\
Not gonna elaborate.
:\

marigold peach mango yogurt

2010-07-18T15:13:00.001+08:00

I'm sad.
Yogurt makes me happy.

blades into my heart

2010-07-17T20:33:00.004+08:00

Isn't that what I always do? What we always do?
Its ironic, how we need the truth, but how we want to steer the hurt away.

Cause this is love and life
And its nothing we can both control.

It hurts...
but you don't know.

hardwork is the yeast that rises the dough

2010-07-17T11:57:00.004+08:00

Major sweetness <3
If a guy did that for me i think i'd for in love with him immediately.
LOL , just joking .
:)

I think I'm going to have to work real hard for term 3 ,
I've been slacking like idk what .
):
The tests that I'm gonna get back this week (Chi & Chem) probably gonna come back with seriously low marks.
I remember how I used to reproach myself when I didn't do well for tests and exams.
And the only reason why (if it was not careless)?
I didn't study/work hard enough.

Hard work certainly goes a long way. These days a lot of people work hard, so you have to make sure you work even harder and really dedicate yourself to what you are doing and setting out to achieve.
- Laksi Mitchal

That's what I'm going to try to do.

I do not know anyone who has gotten to the top without hard work. That is the recipe. It will not always get you to the top, but it will get you pretty near.
-Margaret Tbatcher

tonight ...

2010-07-15T16:32:00.003+08:00

This week has been horrible , really .
:(
Yesterday I was doing my reading journal and I went to my bed to lie down for 5 minutes.
To my horror, I fell asleep and the next time I woke up,
It was 615a.m.
Imagine the jolt I received when I woke up.
I totally felt like I was in a wreck.
Try and imagine the complete hysteria I was in...
Tried to rush out the remaining part of the journal, but didn't manage to complete my reflection.
Second thing, I couldn't remember many smses I sent yesterday.
And they weren't reflected in sent messages although it was reflected as replied.
I was so worried I sent retarded messages.
It was almost as good as doing things when you're drunk and not remembering it when you're awake. Except I was nowhere near drunk. :\
Thank goodness history wasn't collected today.
TGIF tmr.

Lessons learnt: Never think I'm not sleepy and let my own body fool me.

I've numbed myself,
I won't be bothered with that anymore...
Or so I think.
:')

But still i find myself asking

2010-07-14T18:52:00.004+08:00

One day, love and friendship met. Love asked, "Why do you exist when I already exist?" Friendship smiled and said, "To put a smile where you leave tears."

Sigh , I should be focusing 200% on work now!
):

For the uncountableth time ...
Can we pretend that airplanes in the nightsky are like shooting stars?
We could always pretend but what good would pretense be?
All the fakeness.

When everything that matters breaks in two...

boots :D

2010-07-11T13:30:00.003+08:00

I'm asking myself am I sure I liked them?
And I'm laughing ttm.
Polishing boots = (L)
Makes me think of retarded stuff everytime,
And the time is much more enjoyable.
And relaxing.
:D

there is an endless song , echoes in my soul

2010-07-10T21:50:00.002+08:00

D&E Today .
Nothing much to say ,
EXCEPT THAT I COULDN'T GO FOR CELL WHEN THERE WAS LONG LONG LONG CELL TODAY.
DEPRESSING MUCH ?!
D:

How can I ever say enough ,
How amazing your love .

Crash and burn

2010-07-08T17:27:00.003+08:00

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, mp3 player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 15 friends
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Selfish.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
I'll be fine.

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Burning out.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Love like this.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Never be replaced.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Falling for.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Forever in my life.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Whataya want from me.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Ocean avenue.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Take a bow.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
A lonely september.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Forever.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
I will be very good to you.

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Tonight.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Battlefield.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Today was a fairytale.

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
The best you've never had.

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
The way we used to be. (o_o")

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
The last song.

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Happy ending.

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Love drunk.

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Without you. (WTF?!)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
My world.

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Forever yours.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Insomnia. (Ye, I should sleep earlier right.)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Nothin on you.

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Crash and burn.

Well , some answers make lotsa sense but others >_>
LOL .
Anyway , I was tagged originally on fb but I got lazy .
So ye , I'm not gna tag .
(:

Long road ahead

2010-07-08T16:48:00.003+08:00

Inspirational
:)

time to stand up but everybody's sitting down

2010-07-05T17:35:00.002+08:00

Boy: You know what?
Girl: What?
Boy: Next time i see you, don't wear that skirt again, it's too revealing.
Girl: Why? I thought you loved that skirt.
Boy: Next time, wear something that reaches to your ankles.
Girl: Ok whatever!
Boy: A dress that reaches to your ankles.. and wear long white gloves that reach to your elbows.
Girl: What?
Boy: Trust me.
Girl: What are you trying to do? Hide me from everyone?
Boy: Do up your hair as well real pretty.
Girl: Are you listening to what I'm saying? You're so conservative, don't choke me like this... Are you kidding me?
Boy: I'm dead serious.
Girl: You know I don't like guys who boss me around.
Boy: ... Wear a veil.
Girl: ... What?
Boy: Wear this ring too.
Girl: ....
Boy: Marry me.

Bloody sweet! Omgz.
Saw it on Kaely's blog (:
I've been slacking the whole of today
Argh ):

words left unspoken ;

2010-07-05T00:38:00.003+08:00

I'm so scared of the scenario I just thought of .
Argh ,
Totally freaked out .
Now I don't have the mood to do history anymore .
Although I was already doing it so slowly .
:\

If there's trust ,
It will show ...

the stars are holding you tonight

2010-07-03T15:01:00.002+08:00

Darn ,
I'm not going for youth today D:
I feel so depressed !
Gonna go get my mc soon ,
Then come home and do work.
I should continue posting in standard English but,
I just don't feel like now!!!!
ARGH D:

You can beg , you can plead , you can bleed ...

>_>

2010-07-03T10:20:00.003+08:00

I feel bad not going for cca ):
Sigh.
Bye ):

-zzz-

2010-07-02T23:01:00.003+08:00

Self delusion: I'm sick

To be totally honest, I'm not really sick. I'm just really really really really tired. The six hours of sleep in the afternoon does not seem to be making a difference. What I'm feeling now is a total mixture of exhaustion, boredom and headaches along with a cough and sore throat.

At least, I'm looking forward to tomorrow. :)

you'll be okay , i'll be alright

2010-06-30T22:32:00.002+08:00

And then I felt sad because I realised that once people are broken in certain ways, they can'tever be fixed and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older and you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it's already happened.
- Author unknown

:'(

go on and go .

2010-06-29T17:48:00.000+08:00

Go on and go ,
I'll be alright .
You want me to change ,
But this is my life .
(L)

Anw ,
Today has been the best day ever yet since school reopened.
Actually thats only one out of two days but ya!!!
HAHAHAHAH.
:3

first day of sch

2010-06-28T22:21:00.005+08:00

Short update I guess , not really in the mood .
Dismissed at 2 today ,
Arranged tables cause I was on class duty and the guys were not cooperating during lesson ):
Left school at around 230 for Hg mall ,
Went eat at food court .
Then went shopping at popular .
Bought NEW FILE!! (Y)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(Y)
And new earpiece. >:D
And history journal .

Came home at 5 + ,
Used comp till six .
Then I ko till 930
Reason being? Although I went to sleep at 1230 ytd ,
I tossed and turned till it was 2 .
Awesome much?

I guess thats all then ,
Gonna go bathe then do some work .

elle oh vee yee.

2010-06-26T22:42:00.002+08:00

Love, We think about it, sing about it, dream about it, and lose sleep worrying about it.
When we don't know we have it, we search for it.
When we discover it, we don't know what to do with it.
When we have it, we fear losing it.
A short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, and, impossible to live without.

maybe thats why ,

2010-06-26T22:28:00.003+08:00

Are you thinking like me of the laughing times ? Or the sad and loving times .

I was browsing through old posts & all , then i came across the post about promise me.

Promise me to think of us, as a time so beautiful.
Promise me to think of us, still bright still colorful. Promise me to look back at us, as a time in your life, you enjoyed

-tear-
LOL , joking .
I wish it didn't have screamo,
Then it'll probably be my favourite song .
:\
I know I said till school reopens but I'm dying here ya.
Like .
Of .
Boredom .
Of .
Chinese .

:\

Tonight is the one thing left ...

2010-06-26T18:28:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was misery .

Today (at least what has passed of today) was just slightly better .

There's nothing left for me to blog about ,

Till school reopens then .

Lotsa love,

Charin

Hi.

2010-06-26T16:59:00.000+08:00

And bye.

im 48% mentally unstable.

2010-06-24T02:05:00.003+08:00

I'm bored.
Its 2am + & I don't know what to do.
So here.

[x] You have screamed at an inanimate object for 'hurting you.'
[ ] You have ran into a glass/screen door
[ ] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
[x] You have thought of something funny and laughed, and then people gave you weird looks.
[ ] You have run into a tree/bush.
[ ] You have been called a blond.

TOTAL:2

[ ] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.
[ ] You just tried to lick your elbow.
[ ]You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star had the same melody.
[ ] You just sang them to make sure.
[x] You have tripped on your own feet and fallen.
[ ] You have choked on your own spit.

TOTAL: 3

[ ] You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it.
[ ] You type with three fingers or less.
[ ] You have accidentally caught something on fire.
[ ] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose.
[ ] You have caught yourself drooling.

TOTAL: 3

[ ] You have fallen asleep in class. (Im proud of this)
[x] Sometimes you just can't stop thinking.
[x] Sometimes when you are telling a story you forget what you are talking about.
[ ] People often shake their heads and walk away from you.
[ ] You are often told to use your 'inside voice.'

TOTAL: 5

[ ] You use your fingers to do simple math.
[ ] You have eaten a bug accidentally
[x] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.
[ ] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.
[x] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand/pocket the whole time. e.g. picks, cards, pens, phones, money, keys etc.

TOTAL: 7

[ ] You have posted bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen if you don't.
[ ] You break a lot of things.
[x] You tilt your head when you're confused.
[x] You have fallen out of your chair before. (I laughed too hard :x)
[x] When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture on the ceiling.
[x] The word "um" is used frequently.
[ ] You don't know what "um" means.
[x] You say "what" and "huh" a lot.
[ ] You plan to use a calculator to multiply your score for this bulletin.
TOTAL: 12

Take your total,
Multiply by 4
12 x 4 = 48

2010-06-24T01:58:00.001+08:00

HAHAHA.
Rofl.
3 people asked bmgf when I was in cheese.
Like omgz.
Blind.
HAHAHAHHAHA.
Retarded.
:3

so i'll just sing a lullaby.

2010-06-23T22:39:00.002+08:00

I painfully and slowly pressed the button.
I have no idea what the reply will be.
><

See you again.

hai.

2010-06-23T19:56:00.003+08:00

I didn't know what to say.
Then she opened her mouth first.
So yeah.
:>

Talking to zy on twitter now! (L)
She still remembers Im from xm.
LOL.
My dear dOnut.
:>

!@#$%^&*

2010-06-20T23:33:00.002+08:00

I'm so angry that im contemplating whether or not to close down the blog.
Like ya, no link but...
Sigh.
At least so many people tried to calm me down / cheer me up!
Love you all. :)
Doing SET stuff now.
Have to do games day after that.
:|

That one thing I'm so sure of.
Without you im lost.

:(

2010-06-11T11:26:00.003+08:00

Went back to maple ytd.
From arnd 1230-230 .
And I was expecting him to talk more lah!
Fine, he was at ht
but I went back aft like,
1yr + leh.
Can't he show more reaction?
):
Maybe I should be contented that he said hi.
Grah.

twitter oh twitter.

2010-06-10T00:28:00.001+08:00

twitter is over capacity.
no wonder i couldnt get my tweets through.
argh.
:(
gonna sleep soon.
(L)

The cross.

2010-06-09T19:08:00.002+08:00

shoes :3

2010-06-07T11:31:00.000+08:00

because hearts are broken by words left unspoken

2010-06-07T11:08:00.002+08:00

Yay.
Lets start talking about my day(s)!! :D

Friday.
I slept at 2am ):

Saturday
I had to wake up at 7am!!!
I was so worried i'd oversleep.
But 3 people kindly called me :)
And 2 of them didn't sleep until 7!
Omgz.
Baked Beatrice's oreo cheesecake.
It was superrrrrrr fun & funny omgz .
*blinkz innocently*

Sunday
Met sipin @ 12 at Compass.
Went to takeaway macs for lunch. (AGAIN)
& headed to Naomi's house to eat!~
Sipin was like super duper uber scared of Ryo.
Then after that we went to walk him awhile.
And we went to IKEA to walk walk!
And it was like super funny, hahaha.
If only we could live tgt next time!~
Then we went to giant!
And so now we have like around uh,
11 places that we want to go but don't have
time to go to!!!!
Hahahahhahahahaha.
-Starez at Naomi-

Oh well.
The blog post is like super summarized lah!
And it can't explain how much fun I've had.
(L) my cell especially.
What happened?
Nothing happened.
Nothing happened.
Nothing happeneddddddddd.
:3

Guess I was wrong, but see I’m strong.
It won't take long for me to move on.
Please don’t worry about me I’m fine.
Only gonna play the fool one time.
Trust me when I say that I’ll be OK.

If only.

2010-06-07T11:02:00.006+08:00

The greatest regrets in our lives are the risks we did not take. If you think something will make you happy, go for it! Remember that you pass this way only once.

Haven't been blogging for awhile now.
:)

hi.

2010-06-03T17:32:00.001+08:00

I only have one thing to say :3

(W)
The rose wilt already

There ^^
Hahahaha.
:x

cause i want you all to myself,

2010-06-01T14:44:00.001+08:00

I decided to declare today slack day :3
Cause like,
Yesterday,
After 4 days of holidays,
I have already finished Acelearning Set A & B,
Physics WS, LA Xmoogle (for this week) & 3/4 of Maths WS.
And it was the first time I stepped in a game & really played.
If you don't include flash games ya.
HAHA.
Now im downloading songs :3
Im probably going to change my blogskin later.
(L)
Maybe not.
See howz.
:3

Jesus, could you get that for me?

2010-05-31T23:10:00.002+08:00

Why Go To Church?
A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. "I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all."
This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:
"I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this... They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!"
When you are DOWN to nothing... God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible! Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!
All right, now that you're done reading, send it on! I think everyone should read this! "When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, "Jesus, could you get that for me?"

I received that in an email from Edlyn :3
The reply's awesome, isn't it?
Hahahaha.

life is not a snapshot

2010-05-31T13:09:00.001+08:00

Would you dare to believe that you still have a reason to sing?

Im doing maths now.
*Heart eyes*
LOL.
Im hungry :3
Daddy just came back home w/ food.
And went out for a haircut.
=
I'm alone at home again.
For the
98150972124961220th time this year.
Grahz.
Nvm :|
Shall go eat naooooooooo.
I mean.
Now, not naomi :3

Acelearning done! :D

2010-05-31T10:57:00.003+08:00

Yay.
I've completed Acelearning holiday assignmentz.
:3
But I still havent finished that maths ws after so long.
HAHA.
Time to go do it (soon)
After downloading my 912485203895719 songs~

So what if this world just throws me off the edge?

found it there in your heart,

2010-05-30T22:09:00.003+08:00

Highlight: Maths! :]

Laziness.
What an excuse :|
Argh, forget itz.
I shall go do my maths.
MATHS.
Ok im going crazy.
I love you maths.
HAHA.

I wonder how
I wonder why

I'm finding it hard to believe...

lets run away, to that place...

2010-05-30T13:46:00.002+08:00

The previous post was the 555th :>
I've finished Maths Acelearning Set A ! :>
Can't wait for Set B to come out tmr & do it too.
HAHA what is wrong with me o_o
Its the holidays.
Umh yeh,
But once I start slacking I'd never be able to finish any work by the end of the holidays.
Awhsome muchz?

;hoho
Shall go audi laterrr.
:]

alone again crying for you

2010-05-30T12:23:00.002+08:00

Oh my gosh.
I think im going crazy.
I've been doing maths since the start of today.
& I've done maths on friday.
And people scolded me for being crazy since its the start of the holidays.
And I suddenly just feel like doing maths.
Maths.
And maths.

numbing myself much?
:|
are you thinking like me of the laughing times?

Zonal bonding!!

2010-05-29T22:09:00.003+08:00

Highlight of the day: ZONAL BONDING!!!!!!

So what happened today...
0000-0030 I was still on the comp o_o
0030-0700 Sleepzz.
0700-0745 Get ready for CCA
0745-0830 Get to school and slack
0830-1330 CCA
[ZB]1330-1430 Wait around & Travel to IKEA
[ZB]1430-1520 Gamez & Food
[ZB]1520-1715 GIANT!!
[ZB]1715-1745 Travel back to church
[ZB]1745-2000 BBQz
[ZB]2000-2145 Cell time :>
2145-2200 HSH~
2200-0000 Idk :3

Ya exhausted , hahaha.
CCA as usual,
But the sun was scorching,
Omgz.
I laughed like a mad person during zonal bonding!
The guys made us laugh like siao, omg.
:3
BBQ~
The girls sort of prepared the food,
& the guys barbecqued for us!
:>
Bacon+Strawmushrooms+Cheese
= BEST!!!
Cell gobbled my jellybeans up~
Heh. :3
Cell time was fun,
Hahaha.
XO.

and then there's nights that never end

2010-05-28T18:43:00.004+08:00

Argh.
Guilty.
But I'm glad she's okay now.
Ly. :]

I hope my dad won't be as angry as he should be be when he knows my sister lost her laptop...
Hopefully my results can cheer him up? :\
3rd in class,
40th in level.
:l

Study date with nao today.
"Holidays alr why you still go study?"
Quite alot of people asked that.
HAHA.

CCA tmr. (Sigh)
BUT THERES ZONAL BONDING OMGZOMGZOMGZOMGZ.
:DDDDDDDD

even if I say it'll be all right...

2010-05-27T20:11:00.002+08:00

Don't,
Don't go away,
Baby don't you know,
I'll miss you so.

- Don't Go Away by By2

Why am I digging up old songs?
Oh well...

I guess the greatest irony of all is that.
They all thought I could do it.
But I thought, I was so sure that...
I couldn't.

Isn't it always we believing in ourselves
And others not believing us?
Isn't it always the case of we proving ourselves to others ...?

I guess it isn't the case.

Sometimes goodbye is a second chance,

2010-05-27T18:09:00.004+08:00

Highlight of the day: Results... Good or bad? :|

Results today.
Thought i'll do quite badly.
But I did fine..
Drop of percentage from last year though.
:'(
Although position improved by quite a bit.
Improved by 5 for class & 36 for level :>
But it isn't good to compare like that,
Since we should always compare with ourselves~
:|

Happy holidays to all~

Your love is like poison.

planet earth turns slowly..

2010-05-26T19:54:00.004+08:00

Highlight of the day: My SV is ~~officially~~ authenticated.
And it isn't on trial anymore! :D
Yay <3.

But the truth is,
Not everything can be changed...
Its not as easy as they can say it...
Don't they say talk is cheap...?

Quote
Sometimes friends need you more than they let on...
Especially when the unthinkable happens.

Some days I make it through...
And then there's nights that never end.

Im so terrible...
I can't even open my mouth to cheer them up.

deep down inside you know it cuts like a knife,

2010-05-26T17:49:00.002+08:00

Someone once told me that you have to choose...
What you win or lose,
You can’t have everything...

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?

Part of Happy - Leona Lewis

The whole world's electricity has stopped.

2010-05-25T17:09:00.004+08:00

Highlight of the day: Jellybeans!!!

Haven't blogged for just two days,
But it seems like its been forever,
Cause normally I update a few times per day.
Hahah.

Yesterday,
I was lying on my bed,
Trying to figure out about everything.
And this feeling came to me.
And I couldn't sleep...
When it was like almost 1,
And I was freaking exhausted.
Sigh.

Woke up half-heartedly today...
School as usual..
Except that I ate ALOT of Jellybeans.
Hahahaha.

Quote

Ms Lim: Your language quite strong ah!
-awkward pause-
Except your Chinese..

(It was my lowest subject AGAIN ok!!!!!!!)
But considering its 59.8,
I guess its okay.
:>

Trying not to look over my shoulder.

2010-05-23T09:31:00.002+08:00

Going out w/ nao later :]
Hopefully we'll manage to do ALOT of chi att.
Grahz.

I hope you two twins get better.
Ily2 alot.
:3

Hahahahahahahhahah

2010-05-22T22:31:00.002+08:00

I'm super sleepy.
But I just had yogurt.
So it won't digest properly if I sleep now.
And I'll gain more weight.
D:
LOL.

And ya.
Super funny.
-wink-
:D

Should i go?!?!

2010-05-22T21:22:00.002+08:00

Argh.
I want do.
But I don't.
But I want to.
But I don't.
ARGH.
D:
I should :')
But I don't want to.
But I want to.
Ok I give up.
I should go read my book.
*nods head*

Edit:
Omg , after the crapping I feel super high.
And I still want to go.
But I dont.
Argh.
-Bangs wall-

Stop judging - you're not the judge.

2010-05-22T11:27:00.001+08:00

This is what I'll do.
:')

More than just a pretty face,

2010-05-22T11:20:00.003+08:00

Or just follow your heart.
But often, the heart is hard to follow.

The human heart and itsimmense capacity to love and believe

2010-05-22T11:11:00.002+08:00

As complex as life sometimes seems, its greatest mysteries are as simple as a baby's cry, a lover's touch, or the smile of a friend.

They've changed.
Or perhaps I've changed.
No, wait.
Its both.
Change is an inevitable fact of live.
Is it not?

The weight of any relationship, like the baton in a relay race, is carried at a given moment by the runner with the greatest strength.

Optism is one thing, reality another.

2010-05-20T19:15:00.002+08:00

I'm not so sure if I can really really work hard for CA2 & EOYs and score as well as I would want to anymore.
Not after one of my best subjects screwed up on me that badly.
But..
When there's a will there's a way right?
I hope that this time.
Optism and reality, are one thing.
Not separate.

And,
I think I screwed up today's results.
Same marks for Dnt & Geog.
When dnt is /50 and geog is /70.
Geog was like, one of my best subjects.
But this happened.
Wow.
Happy that I passed my chem :')

Deep inside all these while,
Even after doing the hard papers,
I secretly wished that although I knew I might not even get a pass,
I just hoped that I would do well,
Do better than I expected.

And,
Usually I did.
But this time,
10 papers.
I don't think I can say I improved for anyone of them.
I can't...

And thats depressing,
But life goes on.

paint a smile on your faces,

2010-05-19T23:01:00.002+08:00

I think everyone at some point goes through that one moment where they think “Oh my God, I can’t do this”. But you know what? You can. No matter how close you are to the edge, no matter how badly you feel like giving up, or think it’s best to do so rather than have to put up with the pain - don’t. Don’t lose hope that things will get better. Don’t give up, because there is someone out there who will make you smile in a way no one else ever could. Keep that glimmer of hope alive in your heart, because someone is out there searching for you, for your smile. So wipe your tears and hang on tight.

I'm disappointed with my results
But when life throws you a reason why you shouldn't smile,
Throw one thousand reasons right back at it.
And yeah,
I just laughed like crazy reading last years' birthday wishes.
Im going to bring it tomorrow and show everybody the crap they wrote.
HAHA.

Hey you out there,
Don't give up because you didn't manage to do it this time,
Don't give up because you don't think you can make it through.
Remember, you've made it through before.
And you can do it again.

:')

xx

2010-05-19T20:17:00.000+08:00

Her heart twitched. "His theory stinks!"

Leg's (the dog) head came up. Francine soothed it back down.

Quietly, Jim said, "Many things in life do."

"And still you believe," she marveled. "How can you, if this is true? Grace Dorian is her mind. What kind of God would take that from her, leaving the rest of her in perfect working order?"

"One who gives us tests. These tests build character."

"A lot of good character will do if you're dead," Francine remarked.

He looked straight at her. "You won't be dead."

"The test is for me?"

"And for me. And for Sophie. And for all of the others who've been touched by Grace. We have a choie. We can deny the diagnosis, or accept it. The latter may be the more compassionate course."

"But what if the diagnosis is wrong? What if accepting it means throwing our lives into panic?"

"We can be calm."

"Maybe you can. I don't know if I can."

"That's the test," he said with such a small, kind, understanding smile that she couldn't argue more.

- Shades of Grace by Barbara Delinsky

Results.

2010-05-19T19:33:00.004+08:00

All I can say is,
One more failure one more time won't kill me.
I'll learn from my mistakes,
Pick myself up and do even better.

So yeah.
I walked to the bus stop in the rain,
And it felt better than ever.
And I do feel like typing in a manner that so isn't me today,
But who cares.
Oh right you do but.
don't get angry eh?
:D

1st paper to get back today,
English.
I guess its satisfactory...
Im sad, but happy. :|
I totally screwed up my tenses for
EVERYTHING.
While I was reading my composition (along with my situational writing & summary) another time,
I was totally baffled at how I could mix up the tenses.
It was so not me when I wrote the paper.
But it was.

Literature after English.
Well, what should I say I am feeling actually?
Happy because I did relatively well,
Or sad because I could have done so better?
Mix feelings, hello there one more time. :\

Chinese.
I sooooo glad when I saw that I passed my main paper.
And when I saw all my other papers passed as well. :)
Like, a super huge stone was dropped from my chest.
(Luckily it didn't hit my toes :x)
Quite shocked that I got like 31 for my Oral out of 40,
Because I was really stumbling and tripping over my own words on that day.
I like the teacher cause she's lenient, HAHA.

Biology after recess.
If its not the paper I'm happiest over so far,
I think I'm crazy.
Firstly, I did not study for Bio :O
(I focused alot on chem but still didn't know how to do -.-)
Secondly, its the highest percentage for all my papers so far.
:')

Physics after that.
I guess I have nothing much to say.
Careless mistakes caused me 4 marks.
Argh ):

Maths.
Omg best.
I lost 20 marks cause of careless mistakes.
Throughout the whole lesson, I was totally agitated.
I think those who talked to me during then would have known.
What's done is done though,
All I can do is work harder!! :')

~~Dnt~~ CCM after Lunch.
I was close to sleeping the whole time,
While everybody was so talkative and all.
I guess I just needed some down time after like feeling so agitated and using up so much energy.
(Actually I didn't use up much energy but whatever :'))

HSH @ 4.
Took 112 from XMP bus stop,
Looped a big round before it reached my house's bus stop.
I guess it was good time to think about everything in the bus.

Conclusion?
I'm disappointed in my marks...
BUT.
The Midyears have passed.
I haven't gotten back some papers,
But I can already conclude that tomorrow will be a horrible day.
No matter how sad I am, it can't change a single mark of anything.
All I can do is work harder for CA2 and EOYs.
I can do it.
Be strong, be brave. And most of all have faith.

the heart is not a size

2010-05-18T16:39:00.003+08:00

Perhaps its with an open heart,
Without all the grudges and resentment.
:')

I got bored so I decided to open GIMP again after a long long time & made the above.
:]
Read finish The Heart is Not a Size today.
The quote (above) is from there.
(:
Its a really nice book.

School was fun today~
Lots of games.
Having a sorethroat now :x
But !!!
I dont mind,
HAHAH.

Getting back scripts tmr.
Really worried.
Argh.
<|3

Be strong, be brave. And most of all, have faith.

2010-05-17T19:48:00.003+08:00

Which do you see?
Love...
Or hate?

If your ship doesn't come in,
Swim out to it.
Except that I cant exactly swim but who cares.

I'm not ok.
You're not ok.
But that's ok.
:')

i don't wish to be everything to everyone,

2010-05-17T19:39:00.002+08:00

I just wish to be something to someone.

You can fool others.
But you can't fool yourself.

Its never too late to be who you might have been

2010-05-17T19:24:00.003+08:00

Oh wells.
Tiring day today although we didn't do much in school.
Lack of sleep I guess?
:\

In the morning had interhouse games.
Won the match we played :>
1h recess,
The peach tea was super cold and shiok.
<3

SL Activities & talks.
Quite boring .
:x
(Sorry des)

Went hougang mall for lunch aft that @ LJS,
Then went library.
And Joyce wanted to go find the guys,
So tagged along.
Watched them play soccer awhile :]
(And tio wack by the ball @_@)

Walked home, while Joyce took bus from
the bus stop near my house.
Omgz,
My life is getting more boring.

I can't wait to get back my midyears.
But at the same time i know i'll get crushed.
Cause i'll definitely not be able to get the results
I so wished for.

What is wrong with me?
:\

Tears.

2010-05-16T17:46:00.002+08:00

Okay,
Time to observe how people cry.
:x

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

2010-05-16T16:07:00.000+08:00

The last look back is black.

2010-05-16T13:43:00.002+08:00

Just because you were happy with him or her,
Doesn't mean you cannot be happy without him or her.

They say your talk is cheap so i bought every word of it.

2010-05-16T13:02:00.004+08:00

When somebody tells you that you have changed,
A good way to think of it will be that...
You have moved on,
And they haven't.
I just wish thats the way it is.

Here comes the rain again, falling from the stars.

2010-05-15T14:16:00.003+08:00

"There have been lots of ups and downs, but ultimately at the end of the day, that’s what makes you who you are. We all know how to laugh, we all know how to cry, we all know how to love back, and we’re all familiar with heartbreak, but the world keeps moving and we keep moving with it and everything we experience helps us realize how beautiful life really is."

I'm lost in pacific time with the sound of a dial tone.
Let the memories count the miles and never be forgotten.

Love you two.

2010-05-14T18:38:00.004+08:00

Dear Mum
I want to be able to love awesomely like Mick loves John, like Wei Lee loves Zi Don, like you love Dad and him too, Nat. Like I want so much to be loved one day. To be able to love my children the way you love us, Mum. Knowing you would never abandon us. I've realised how easy it is to miss out on that love, and what it costs some people to be able to love.
I see a lot now, Mum, and it hurts to see. I think it always will. But it sort of hurts good. Blindness seems comfortable and easy but now I know it hurts you bad.
I'm not going to abandon you Mum. I just haven't figured out how to deal with everything.
I don't hate you but I'm not sure how I'm going to love you.

I read finish Love You Two by Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli today.
Its a really sweet book.
:)
Hehe, its amazing how I never get sick of reading.

Life.

2010-05-13T20:13:00.006+08:00

Sometimes you see the person who used to be behind you catching up with you and now, winning you. Remind yourself, it was never a battle. No one was supposed to win. It’s all part of a simple life.

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

You popped my heart seams on my bubble dreams.

2010-05-13T19:38:00.001+08:00

And thats exactly what i'm going to do.
:')

Sometimes we lie, because the truth hurts so much.

2010-05-13T19:27:00.003+08:00

This really touched me from the bottom of my heart :')
And its so true isn't it?

It really reminds me of last song (besides having 9210238 kissing scenes),
How Steve & Kelly loved Ronnie,
And how our parents will always love us.

I was never meant to hold on to the most beautiful butterfly,

2010-05-13T19:18:00.000+08:00

There are those hearts that never mend again once they are broken. Or if they do mend, they heal themselves in a crooked and lopsided way, as if sewn together by a careless craftsman.

Because the beautiful butterflies should be free.

i never wanted to leave, but you never gave me a reason to stay

2010-05-13T19:15:00.002+08:00

"I liked the days when boys were written down on paper listed on your top five, instead of you carrying them in your heart. When you would brag about how cool your parents were, instead of talking about how they now ruin your lives. When the only reason you didn’t want to get out of bed for school was because you were sleepy, and now it’s because each day is a struggle. While hide & seek was the coolest game, instead of guys seeing how many girls they can go out with at one time. When you wished upon birthday candles, and now you wish on a boy who is holding your heart. The days when you were just a kid who still had their innocence, and now you’re a teenager who knows everything has changed."

But still I suppose the teenage years will be the best time of my life :')

Goodbye.

2010-05-12T19:24:00.004+08:00

"Its going to be painful to say goodbye to someone that you don’t want to let go of, but its gonna hurt even more to ask someone to stay if you can never make the relationship work out the way it should."

You're like a good book, and now I'm on the last page.
So its finally time to let go.
:')

It’s weird how much the phrase ‘I don’t want to hurt you’ hurts.

:')

2010-05-12T19:00:00.002+08:00

"For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it."

Terrified.

2010-05-11T14:13:00.002+08:00

I'm damn terrified now.
The bees.
They stalked me from my dajie's room to my dad's room.
Then from 1 only it became like 3.
Omg.
Damn freaky ):
Then now i ran out to the living room but im still damn scared cause 1 stalked me out here.
D:
I wish my dad was at home.
Argh.

How many more times will you kill me if I trust you?

2010-05-11T10:57:00.003+08:00

You've killed me not once, not twice,
Way more than thrice,
Why is your heart made of ice?

Perhaps I shouldn't be afraid to cry.

2010-05-11T10:54:00.002+08:00

I'm not sad.
I'm just freaking emotional.

Last hope.

2010-05-10T20:09:00.003+08:00

In Chapter 5, the windmill symbolised the animals' dreams and hopes. Snowball came up with the idea of the windmill.
... ...
After he gave his speech on the windmill, saying that it would provide electricity and every stall could have its own electric light and electric heater, the animals were sure who they wanted to vote for.
Here, the life Snowball talked about was what the animals' hoped for, their dreams. The windmill symbolised their ambition.

So yes.
Now that lit is over, (and quite badly over I must say)
My last hope is for maths (which is well, quite impossible)
Ignoring careless mistakes, there is already a high percentage that I won't know how to do some of the questions set.
Sigh.
I used to love maths so much and couldn't wait for maths tests/exams.
But now I just loathe it.
I dread the fact that I might just fail.
And screw up my whole midyear exams.

Im such a pessimist.
:')

Ain't gonna wait up.

2010-05-07T21:41:00.002+08:00

Both of my sisters aren't home yet.
Im so freaking tired from everything,
I'm not going to wait for them.
They better have their keys.
Cause im going to plonk down on my bed and sleep like a ...
Hibernating bear? :)
Its been so tiring.
Although I haven't been getting less sleep than a normal school day,
(In fact im getting more) and have been dismissed and reaching home much earlier,
Im still damn worn out.
:|
Goodnightworld.<3

Friends.

2010-05-07T19:55:00.002+08:00

"Friends are people that touch your heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them. They’re the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don’t judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. Friendship is the strangest but greatest thing in the world. I find my time with my friends the best times of my life."

Thank you all for always being there.
Although there are times when im just that bitchy :').
I love you all.
<3

Screwdriver.

2010-05-07T16:27:00.004+08:00

D:

You know how much I felt like a freaking failure when I was doing my science paper.
And I knew that THAT INFORMATION was tucked somewhere in my brain, but I just could not recall any freaking thing?

3 papers already.

I feel like a screwdriver.

:\

worried.

2010-05-06T18:55:00.002+08:00

Im so worried.
I'm not a screwdriver,
So i should stop screwing things up.
Chinese and geog..
._.
Rio deCaprio.

I tell myself I've done my best.
But have I really done so ?
):

..

2010-05-04T17:34:00.001+08:00

Im not satisfied with all my CA marks but yet im still watching dramas?
What type of attitude is mine?
I should go and bang wall.

Three words.
Disappointment in myself.

Chiasmus.

2010-05-04T15:30:00.003+08:00

Chiasmus & a world of quotations
That say what they mean and mean what they say. :]

For those who have seen my file,
Im sure you'll remember this:

Not everything that can be counted counts
and not everything that counts can be counted.

And today what i wrote in my compo:

For everybody, there's always this special moment.
Either you define the moment,
Or the moment defines you.

And the one that caught my eye today:
Recreational wordplayers wonder why we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway.

And something i'll remember throughout my exams (and hopefully longer):
When the going gets tough,
The tough gets going.
:]

:'(

2010-04-29T19:55:00.002+08:00

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce.

She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly;
it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!”

This is so sad .
Although im supposed to be studying now.
TTx